Seeing headlines of John Cena decimated, destroyed, demolished, and of his stunning beatdown by Brock Lesnar this weekend at Summerslam motivated me to write.
For me, the more perfect the man, the more satisfying to see him getting worked over. Perhaps it speaks to some frustration of never being able to attain this perfection. Nonetheless, I enjoy watching Cena's big muscles pushed to its limits. He also shows great emotion, especially when he's struggling — his face writhes in pain when slammed, and he's often on his knees open-mouthed and gasping as has been dubbed "the Cena position." Cena performs the role of muscle jobber perfectly ... except of course now he's the face of the WWE and never loses anymore ...
... Until this weekend ...
Brock completely overwhelmed Cena in a squash match as the pay-per-view main event. The Cena humiliation tally includes:
- Walking into Brock's finisher 30 seconds in
- Getting German-suplexed 16 times
- Several scream-inducing knees to his obliques
- Getting mounted and spread-legged by Brock pummeling with punches
- Countless ways of getting the crap beat out of him
- Continual verbal abuse from Brock "I'm gonna kill you!!" and "Die!!!"
- Brock sitting up quickly and laughing after Cena had hit his finisher
Brock should be credited for playing the sadistic maniacal bulldog. He's not as big especially when you compare the likes of the Big Show or Khali, but he's built up his brand as the successful high school bully who continues to bully his way to success. Of course, he's quite the surgeon in the ring as well, and uses his amateur experience to get physical with lots of hot body contact grappling.
All This Has Happened Before
(For more GIFs, check out my tumblr post)
Now, this story won't be complete without recalling Cena's first match (seen here) against Brock where ... guess what?? ... Cena jobbed to Brock! Yes, back in 2002 when Cena debuted, before he wrestled in knee-length plainclothes shorts, Cena was decimated by Brock. He wore brightly-colored package-hugging wrestling trunks. It's such a shame his current getup hides that meaty ass of his. Here are some screenshots when Cena was still a virgin to Brock:
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| Prime muscle and still so green; he'll never be this ripe again |
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| Cena absolutely bewildered by Brock's dominance;
his worked-out bod has no usefulness and he hangs onto dear life on the ropes |
These next pics are dedicated to Cena's big ass bubble butt:
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| A screencap taken at the right moment is very suggestive. However, it does epitomize the match — Cena bending over to service his superior |
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| If I didn't know better, I'd say Brock was daydreaming about the ways he'd be enjoying his spoils later (notice the "Smack" sign?) |
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| Really is a shame we don't get to see this fine ass anymore |
Finally, pics of Cena being held (who doesn't want to be held right?)
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| Brock came from behind early on and never felt the need switch positions; this is where literally half the match took place! |
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| More camera angles than a porn shoot |
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| Okay, one degrading defacing pin to acknowledge that Cena's front isn't bad either, not shabby at all really |
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| Begin meat-filled slideshow (foreplay). In 3 ... |
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| ... 2 ... |
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| ... 1 ... |
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| "Ohh" |
If you haven't got enough of Jobber Cena, I also created some GIFs of this match on this tumblr post.
